


Brostuck

by animehead



Series: Brostuck [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-26
Updated: 2012-10-26
Packaged: 2017-11-17 02:27:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/546633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/animehead/pseuds/animehead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bro has his hands full with all his siblings and their ridiculousness. Fuck, man, this guardian shit is for the birds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Brostuck

**> Kanaya: Be resourceful **

You knew it would be a disaster the moment she slid the flask out of her purse and grinned. You wanted to talk her out of it, but you found it quite endearing to see her so excited over her rebellious actions. 

“Rose, come on,” you whisper and tug on her arm. You’re both staring up at her window on the second story of her home. You haven’t quite figured out how you’re going to get up there now that Rose is inebriated. 

“Kanaya,” Rose slurs and wraps her arms around your waist. “You look so pretty tonight.” She tugs you backward and rests her chin against your shoulder. “You’re always so, so, so pretty.” 

Your eyes flutter close when you feel her lips press against your neck, but her north traveling hands cause you quickly open them. “Yes, thank you,” you say and tug your shirt back down. “You’re very pretty, too, but right now we need to focus on getting you safely inside your room.”

“Noooo,” Rose whines. “Just take me to your house. We can sleep in your bed.” She chuckles and nips at your neck. “We can do a lot of things in your bed, Kanaya. A lot, lot of lot of things.”

Normally, you would blush at something like that, but you decide that you’ll reserve that for later. There’s no way the two of you can risk climbing up the side of the house with Rose’s current condition. 

But you think you’ve figured out an alternative. 

“Stay there,” you order Rose before walking toward the sidewalk. You find a couple of small rocks and hope they’ll be hard enough to get the attention of the person you want to notice them, but not hard enough to break a window. 

“Whatcha’ doin’?” Rose asks. A streetlight on the sidewalk a few feet away is beaming down on her and you can’t help but think about how beautiful she is. You want to tell her how much she means to you and how lucky you are to have her. 

Instead, you shush her and plant yourself below the window of the room next to Rose’s bedroom. Holding one of the rocks in your hand, you reel your arm back, take aim, and _throw_. 

**> John: Investigate**

They say when one of your senses starts to fail, another one becomes stronger, but you’re not sure how true that is. What you are sure of is that you heard a freaking noise even though Dave swears he didn’t hear anything. 

_You’ve been wearing glasses for four years now, so maybe they’re on to something._

“There it is again,” you say. “Didn’t you hear it?”

“Dude.” Dave sets his headphones on top of his desk and stares at you. “Are you gonna’ listen to these lyrics or what?”

“I’ve been listening to them. What I want _you_ to listen to is that sound.” 

“What sound?” 

You hear it again, a click or a knock, or _something_ that you hadn’t heard previously. “It sounds like it’s coming from outside.” You stand up from the bed and walk over to the window. It’s dark outside, way too dark for you to see anything, so you raise the window in hopes of identifying the sound. “I don’t see anything out— Ah!” 

You don’t see the rock, but you definitely feel it when it slams against your forehead hard and fast enough to send you flying backward. You grip at your head, eyes closed, more startled from the shock of being hit rather than the pain.

“What the fuck?!” Dave is up and out of his seat, rushing over to you. “What happened?”

“I don’t know,” you say. You open your eyes and stare up at Dave. “Is it bleeding?”

“Nah, doesn’t look like it. Just stay there for a sec.” 

**> Dave: Get to the bottom of this**

You walk over to the window and reluctantly poke your head out. “Whoever the fuck you are, you’re about to get—”

“Dave.” 

You know that voice. “Kanaya? What the hell? You straight up grenaded John.”

“I didn’t mean to. Is he okay?” Kanaya asks. 

You look back at John who is still lying on the floor holding his forehead. “Yeah, he’s good. What’s up?”

“I have a bit of a problem,” Kanaya says. 

“Hey, Dave!” Rose shouts from behind Kanaya. “We were out drunking, danking, _drinking_!”

Shades tipped down slightly, you stare at your sister and her girlfriend and shake your head. “…Fuck.”

**> Dirk: Lose control**

You rake your fingernails down his back, digging into the his skin and arching against him when he bites down on your shoulder. 

He winces and uses either of his hands to grip your wrists and pin you down against the bed. “You’re going to shred me to pieces,” Jake says. He thrusts his hips, making you arch even higher, toes curling, legs wrapped around him, heels pressing against his ass, pushing him deeper inside of you. 

When he shifts his hips, you cry out, reflexes causing you to attempt to shut your legs around him. 

Leaning down, he kisses you. His lips are wet, warm, and taste like strawberries. This is probably due to the flavored lube you bought mere hours ago. 

_Which clearly turned out to be a perfect fucking investment._

_“_ Be quiet,” he whispers, mouth still hovered above your lips and he rocks his hips, slowly, but hard enough to make your headboard slam back and forth against the wall, the rhythm matching almost perfectly with the beating of your heart. 

**> Bro: Relax a little**

You’ve had a long fucking day. You spent several hours spinning records for a middle aged couple’s wedding. You hate working weddings, especially ones that come with lots of single chicks throwing themselves at you. It’s not that you don’t love single chicks, there are few things equal to or better than a single woman with a banging body trying to mack at you. 

But when the single chick spills her booze glass all over your records, then the two of you have a fucking problem. 

_What you need is a fucking drink._

You step out of your room, wearing nothing more than a pair of black sweatpants and your hat. It’s pretty late and everyone had better be sleeping because you all need to get up in the morning and do some yard work because the lawn looks like shit. 

You hear music coming from Dirk’s bedroom and you frown. You’ve told him about falling asleep with the stereo on. 

Not like his ass pays bills or anything. 

Stopping at the door, you turn the knob, only to discover that it’s locked. 

_What the fuck?_

“Dirk.” You knock on the door and wait for a response. When you get nothing, you pound on it with your fist. “Dirk!”

 

**> Dirk: Panic**

“Coming,” you say, but that isn’t really true because you already came about five minutes ago. Jake is very much still naked in your bed, which is bad because he’s not supposed to be at your house in the first place. 

After a bit of quiet panicking, you both decide the best place for him to hide is under your bed. You just hope he doesn’t fuck up any of your smuppets because you have them carefully arranged under there and the last thing you need is for them to end up all disorganized. 

Wrapping yourself in a sheet, you put on your best I-just-woke-up face and open your door. “Yeah?”

“What did I tell you about that stereo?” Bro says. 

“Sorry.”

Bro eyes you and frowns. “Where the fuck are your clothes?”

You shrug. “Hot in my room.”

“Mmhm.” Bro leans to the side and pokes his head further into your room. “New shoes?” he asks when he catches eye of Jake’s boots. 

“Trying something new.”

“And the shorts?”

You swallow nervously. Why does Jake have to throw his clothes in obvious places? “Yeah.”

Bro shrugs and nods over at your stereo. “Turn it off.”

“Okay.” Clutching at your sheet, you walk over to your stereo. Before you can press the power button, Bro is grabbing your katana from its rack and unsheathing it. He raises the blade in the air and brings it down to the floor just next to the bed. There’s a scream and a loud bang that comes from just beneath box spring followed by Jake’s moans of agony. 

“Ow, my flipping head.”

“Get up, get dressed, get some ice, and go home,” Bro says before leaving. 

**> Bro: Get that drink**

You shake your head. You don’t know how many times you’ve run English out of your house. You should probably keep score, make a game out of it or something. 

You make your way downstairs just in time to see John sitting at the kitchen table with a bag of frozen peas held against his forehead. You’re not surprised to see him because unlike English, he actually got your permission to spend the night. What you are surprised to see, however, is Dave holding the back door open for both Kanaya and Rose whom of which you _thought_ was asleep in her bed hours ago. 

“What the fuck is this?” You say. 

The four of them gasp and turn their attention toward you. 

 “Mr. Strider, I can explain” Kanaya begins, but she’s interrupted by a soft “oh god” and then the sound of Rose’s feet pounding against the kitchen floor as she rushes over to the sink to puke her guts out. 

The phone rings immediately afterward and you point an accusing finger at Kanaya before answering. “Yeah, what do you—”

“Bro,” Roxy says, voice cheerfully slurred. “Don’t be mad, okay? But can you pick up me and Janey? We missed the last bus.” 

You’re pretty proud of yourself for not crushing the phone in your grip. You told Roxy a hundred times to make sure she gave herself enough time to catch the bus home because you had no fucking plans of coming to pick her up an hour away from where you live. “All right.”

“Okay, we’ll be standing at—”

You hang up on her before she can finish and grab your car keys from off the kitchen table. You don’t even bother to put on shoes or a shirt as you head toward the front door. 

_Fuck if you don’t need that drink now more than ever.  
_


End file.
